Divorce is a major source of grief and a major source of depression. It usually leads to feelings of grief, anger, and shame and those who learn how to pray through these different feelings will experience relief of their emotional turmoil after a divorce. The following stories illustrate this process. It's normal and okay to struggle after a divorce; the Lord even says He hates divorce. But He does not want you to be stuck in those bad feelings; He can and will set you free as you learn to pray about your emotions.
There are many stories about divorces in the grief, anger, and shame sections, but new stories about individuals recovering from divorces will be added to this page in the near future as they surface.
"It is better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house with a contentious woman."
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord."
Set Free from 15 Years of Anger at Ex: 1
A woman came to a Set Free meeting and asked for prayer for her anger toward her Ex-husband. She said that her friends and family used to compliment her on her "warm and fuzzy voice" but she had become bitter and angry after her divorce 15 years earlier. While married her husband was emotionally abusive and used the Bible as a weapon and told her to be submissive to him, then he had multiple affairs. After their divorce he spitefully told her that he never loved her or wanted to marry her. He was irresponsible and never provided financial support for her and their children so she had to raise the children alone for many years, which was a severe burden and stress. He treated their daughter terribly because she looked so much like her and he even challenged her faith when he was with her, but he spoiled their son and treated him like a king so he became very egotistical. In spite of his financial and neglect and emotional abuse of his children he acted like a doting father in public so everyone would think he was a good father. Fifteen years of this treatment had made this woman resentful instead of warm and cheerful as she had previously been. I asked her if she would like to get rid of this anger and she said that she would.
I explained that the first step was to just be honest and to identify all her resentments toward her husband, which we had just done. The second step was to tell the Lord her resentments and ask Him to take them from her and she was willing to do this. So, I led her in a prayer and told the Lord why she was so angry at her X, then she asked the Lord to take her anger from her and carry it for her. Afterwards, I asked her how she felt and she said, "I'm free of this. I'm at peace." I asked her if she felt any anger and she said she had no more anger but she had some sadness that her X is missing out on some amazing kids, that her kids don't get to see their little sister, and that they have started becoming angry. We prayed about this sadness and she gave it to the Lord. After that she said that she felt, "Neutral, calm, and relaxed."
Since then she has repeatedly affirmed that she is still peaceful and calm about her ex-husband and has no more anger toward him and her "warm and fuzzy" voice has come back. She was set free from 15 years of anger in a single prayer session! Wouldn't it be wonderful to see every divorced person in our churches set free from their anger like this and give glory to God for setting them free! Wouldn't it be even better if churches regularly taught their members how to resolve their anger so that they never got divorced in the first place? Pray with me for this truth to spread to churches everywhere.
It's Really Gone! An Update: 2
I wanted to give you an update on me. I haven't been able to come back to the meetings because of school starting and my son plays in the band and we go to watch him. But I wanted you to know God is amazing and has truly taken away my anger toward my children's father. My anger has stayed gone. Sometimes, when something happens I might have a twinge of something, but in my next breath I remember God willingly took this anger from me and then its gone. And!!! Its REALLY GONE! I can spend my energy on my voice, the tone and the words I choose, while the kids and I are discussing whatever it is that is upsetting them in regards to their dad. I actually find myself thinking of reasons why he would say or do what he is saying or doing. I am careful not to give excuses, I have never done that. Since I prayed to let this anger go, out of nowhere my Ex sent my oldest girl (in college) $290.00 to repay her for what she paid on her spring tuition and the rest "just because". Unfortunately my oldest daughter is holding on to anger and pain and frustration toward her dad and is not interested in letting it go. I am praying for God to break down her barriers so she can be humbled to let it all go. I am praying she will soften and want to let go. Thank you again for being obedient to God and His call in your life to help others. I will keep praying my girl will have the "want" to let go and let God. I also want you to know you may use my testimony. And I hope to be able to return to the meetings. Thank you again and may God bless you.
Set Free from Divorce and 38 Years of Grief 20 3
I prayed with a man about the loss of his wife through divorce, and the loss of a very close friend. He first talked about his wife and what he missed about her. He said that he missed being with her, talking with her, fishing with her, raising their kids together, and spending the holidays together. He missed her “golden smile”, her big brown eyes and beautiful hair, and her love and affection. He identified 15 things he missed about her, then he prayed and asked the Lord to take his grief and sadness from him. After this prayer I asked him how he felt and he said, “I feel happy and thankful to have had her in my life.” He also said that he felt calm. We then talked about a close friend of his who died over 30 years earlier, and we made a list of twelve things he missed about this friend. He prayed and told the Lord what he missed about him, then asked the Lord to take his grief from him and carry it for him. When I asked him how he felt, afterwards, he said he felt “happiness” and had no more grief or sadness. He even chuckled at the memory of the funny laughter of his friend. A week later I saw this man again and asked him how he felt now about the loss of his ex-wife and his friend. He said, “That’s pretty amazing! Normally I spent my whole day just thinking about her but now I don’t. I feel okay.” He said that when he previously talked about his other friend he became very tearful and he could barely talk about him, but he said, “Now, I’m not choked up from talking about him!” This man was amazed at how quickly he was able to resolve his grief and how it changed his life so that he was no longer so emotional about these losses. I tried for 25 years to help people overcome their grief and I am still amazed at the power of God to set us free from our grief. “Surely He HAS borne our grief!”
Skeptical Wife Set Free From Grief 25 4
A very distraught woman came for help after her husband of six years left her for another woman. They had separated and were trying to resolve their marital problems but then he met another woman and told his wife that their relationship was over. She was so distraught that it disrupted her sleep and she began having anxiety attacks. I explained how she could release grief through prayer and she told me that her father had been a preacher when she was a child and she said she was willing to try it, but she openly admitted that she was skeptical that it would work. We made a list of 29 things she missed about her husband, including his presence, his caring, his phone calls, and his talks with her when she was upset. She also missed watching certain TV shows together, going out on a date night each week, and his kisses in the morning and telling her that he loved her. As she talked about what she missed about him it brought tears to her eyes, and when we prayed through this list she cried even more. Then she told the Lord she was tired of carrying this grief and she asked Him to take it from her and carry it for her. After her prayer I asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted her to know. "You're Ok," was what came to her mind. She said she felt better but still had some sadness that her husband was moving on without her, so we prayed about this and she gave her sadness to the Lord. Again, I asked the Lord what He wanted her to know and she began smiling. She said she heard the words, "I have a plan." She said that this gave her some hope and this is what her deceased mother used to tell her all the time. When I asked her how she felt she said she felt no grief or sadness but she felt lighter and she felt hope. She was very skeptical that the prayer process would work but was amazed afterwards at how much better she felt. She said with a big smile, "I feel a lot better than I have in a long time!" She had entered the room with a heavy heart and heavy grief, but she left the room with a light heart and a smile on her face. The Lord does heal broken hearts!